This column originally ran in The Standard-Times on Oct. 15, 2004.

By Nick Tavares

I'm exhausted. And I'm mortified.

After all the drama, trades, winning streaks and losing streaks, there was no doubt heading into October that this was the year.

This was the Red Sox team that would finally take down the Yankees, this was the team that would bring the prize back to Boston, and the party would never end.

Everyone in New England would have been face-first in a bottle of champagne for days. I would've been AWOL from the office for months.

This was supposed to be the year. But it's heading for disaster.

Down two games to none in this year's American League Championship Series, the Yankees have a stranglehold on the Red Sox, and they're more than willing to crush the jugulars of the team and every fan once again.

I don't want to believe that it's over after two games. But it's hard to ignore the facts, as Todd Bates, a teacher at New Bedford High School, has realized.

"I feel like they're going to come back and make a series of it, but I'm afraid that in the end we'll just be heartbroken again," said Mr. Bates, 27. "I've been trying to ignore the fact that this is happening. I don't want to be pessimistic, I'm not that kind of fan, but it just doesn't feel like it's in the cards this year."

Red Sox fans from all over New England were in agreement that this team had it all. Pitching, defense and the three-run homer, as Hall-of-Fame manager Earl Weaver used to say, are the keys to victory, and color me pink if Boston doesn't have all three.

But it's not working.

They're down two games to the Yankees. Pitchers look outmatched. Hitters look overwhelmed. The bullpen looks overworked.

And we're halfway to being swept.

"I have a lot of kids in class who aren't baseball fans but are rooting for the Yankees," said Mr. Bates.

"They really like to rub it in my face, so I've been handing out 8th periods (minor detentions) to anyone who does that."

It's the least he can do to quiet an intolerable Pinstripes booster, because New York isn't doing anything to silence them.

The Yankees are executing on all aspects of the game. Their batters are making timely hits. Ours are flailing away.

Their pitchers are coming up strong. Ours are either disabled or just not good enough.

Their fielders get to every ball. Ours have gloves that can't quite make the key catches.

If this team -- the one armed to the teeth with anti-Yankee artillery -- can't do it, who will?

For now, our fate rests in the skinny hands of Bronson Arroyo, who (weather permitting) will square off against Kevin Brown tonight in Game 3. And with Curt Schilling out indefinitely, Derek Lowe, exiled to the bullpen before the playoffs, will move into his spot in the rotation.

Despite the odds, there are many among the millions of Red Sox Nation who remain cautiously optimistic.

"They can definitely come back," said Pat Costa, 19, of New Bedford. "They just have to start hitting and getting base runners."

Mr. Costa is a former pitcher and third baseman at Bishop Stang High School, and like many fans, he's pinning his hopes on Schilling, who may have already thrown his last pitch this year.

"He's been the leader and he's stepped up when they've needed him, but it really all depends on whether or not he can come back.

"I still think that Lowe could come up huge in Game 5, as long as he calms down and makes his pitches."

I really want to believe that, too.

But the question remains If we can't top New York this year, when will we? When will it finally be enough to stop them?

"It will all even out eventually, and one day we will beat them," said Mr. Bates. "I don't believe in a curse -- it may not be next year, or the year after, or it might not happen until I'm 57, but it will.

"I just doesn't look good this year."

I think he's right. But I hope he's wrong. And he hopes he's wrong, too.

All this fret could be for naught, simply the mental price of winning a championship.

Bronson Arroyo could pitch the game of his life tonight. Tim Wakefield could be magical tomorrow. Derek Lowe could come back to life and pitch magically.

Pedro could dominate in Yankee Stadium and show everyone who's really Daddy.

And after that, every smug Yankees fan on the face of the planet would have to shut up. They could console themselves with their 26 championship rings and their $200 million payroll, but they'd have to face the fact that they lost to the Red Sox, our team of happy idiots who make all of New England ecstatic.

All of that could actually happen.

It has to because I can't stomach anything else.

Nick Tavares is a hopeless Red Sox fan and columnist for The Standard-Times. Console him at ntavares@s-t.com

This story appeared on Page A1 of The Standard-Times on October 15, 2004.